Empty coffins
by ScarletxRavenx
Summary: Penelope is sent deep undercover to help bring down a terrorist group and can't tell the team about it to protect them. After the case goes horribly wrong she is presumed dead and her family is left to try and figure out what happened and if there is a possibility of her still being alive.
1. The assignment

"Mrs Garcia may I speak with you privately please." Chief Cruze asked, Penelope was confused as to why he would want to talk her.

"Oh course sir." He lead her into his office upstairs and he began.

"I have been contacted by the CIA this morning, they require your assistance on a case."

"What kind of case?" she asked.

"Terrorism. I don't have many details because they said that it was very confidential but they have requested that go to their office today and they will explain everything to you there."

"Ok I just need to tell the team that I'll be gone for today and then I'll head over there." Penelope said. It wasn't uncommon for other teams of units to ask for her assistance with something but this was the first time that she would be working with the CIA and doing something as big as a terrorism case.

"No, I'm afraid you can't tell them where you're going or what you're doing."

"Why can't I tell them? I have to at least tell Derek he's my husband, I won't lie to him." Penelope said. She and Derek had been married for almost three years now and the couple had never been happier. She knew that there was no way that she could just sneak away without Derek questioning her about it.

"How long would they need me for?"

"I'm not sure exactly but I was just told to have you come as soon as possible and bring your go bag with you."

"Well what am I supposed to tell everyone then?" If she was suppose to bring her bag with her then surely she would be gone for at least a few days and everyone would be wondering where she is.

"You are to tell everyone that there has been a family emergency and that you will be taking some time off to visit your brothers."

"Ok." She agreed she didn't like the idea of lying to them but if it was to help someone then she knew that she had to.

——

Penelope went back into the bullpen and saw that everyone was already at the round table getting ready to go over there newest case.

"Hey, where'd you run off to baby girl?" Derek asked.

"Um I'm sorry I'm late, I just got a call from my brother Carlos, he said that there's been a family emergency and that I should go to California."

"Oh no what happened?" JJ asked.

"I'm not sure he didn't say but he sounded pretty serious so I'm going to go to the airport and try to get on the soonest flight."

"I'm coming with you." Derek said as he stood up from his chair. He knew that family was a pretty tough topic for her so he wanted to be there for her.

"Thank you my love muffin but I think it's better if I go alone, and besides you're needed here. I promise I'll try to keep you updated, ok?"

"Ok." He agreed "call me when you land so I know that you're safe."

"Will do, handsome."

——

After she went home to get her things she drove to the cia headquarters which took her about an hour to get to.

Once she arrived she entered the building and was immediately greeted by a agent looking to be in his mid 40s. "Miss Garcia?" He asked.

"Yes sir that's me." She confirmed and showed him her badge just in case.

"I'm agent Brody Cooper, head of the terrorism department." He said as he shook her hand. "Thank you for coming on such short notice. Follow me please."

"So why exactly am I here? The director was very brief when we spoke." She asked curiously.

As he lead her into the conference room they sat at the table across from each other and he started to explain. "We have been trying to locate a terrorist group based in Iraq, they are extremely dangerous and they have made threats towards the United States, we need to bring them down but we have had trouble locating them, we need you on hand to help us."

"Why me?" She asked. The fbi and the cia have full teams of cyber crime agents so she was confused as to why they needed her specifically.

"You are one of the very few people in the U.S with the skills that we need." He explained. "You should also know that this will be very dangerous, we will do everything in our power to keep you as protected as possible but we will need you in the field with us."

"But sir I'm not an agent I've never actually been in the field before."

"That's exactly why for the next few weeks you will be training, we will teach you everything you need to know, how to fight, how to use a firearm, how to compartmentalize, and everything else that is required. It will be very intense and difficult. Once your training is complete then you will come with us on the field and we will be flying to Iraq and going undercover. This will be not only physically challenging but mentally challenging as well and there is always a chance that you might not return back home, I'm not trying to scare you but I need you to understand the dangers. Are you up for this Miss Garcia?"

She took a moment to process the information that she was just thrown at her "Would I be helping people?" She asked.

"I can assure you that you would be saving many people's lives."

"Then I'll do it." She agreed without hesitation. She was obviously scared and overwhelmed with all the information but she knew what she had to do. This was way out of her comfort zone but she didn't think that she would be able to go to sleep at night knowing that she had a chance to save people and didn't.

"When does training begin?" She asked.

"Right now." He answered and then he lead her to the training centre to meet with the instructors.

——

Penelope had just finished her first day of training and it was absolutely exhausting, they wasted no time throwing her into it and now she just wanted to collapse cause she was so tired.

She then remembered that she hadn't called Derek yet and he was probably starting to get worried so she pulled out her phone but as she did agent Cooper stopped her.

"You'll need to give me your phone." He said.

"Why? I need to call my husband, he'll Be worried."

"You can use this to contact him." He said as he handed her a different phone. "This one cant be traced, we can't have anyone know that you're working with us for your own safety."

"Fine." She handed over her cell. She thought that the agent was overreacting a little bit but she wasn't about to argue with him.

She walked away so she could speak privately as she dialled the number.

"Morgan." He answered not knowing who was calling him.

"Hey, sweet cheeks." Penelope said.

"Penelope? What took you so long I was getting worried? Who's phone are you using?"

"Sorry, I left my cell at the airport by mistake so I just got a cheap one for now to replace it." She lied.

"Oh, ok. How is everything with your family?" He asked concerned.

"Oh um." She started and cursed herself for not thinking more about Her cover story. "Eddie got hit by a car, he's in the hospital." She blurted our the first thing that came to her mouth.

"Oh god, is he ok? are you ok?" Derek asked.

"It was a pretty bad accident, but I'm sure he'll pull through."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come up there? I can be there by tomorrow." Derek offered.

"No I'll be ok, thank you. I have to go now but I'll talk to you soon, ok?"

"You got it mama. I love you."

"I love you."


	2. You make me brave

About a month had passed and Penelope was finding it more and more difficult to keep up her lies, Derek was getting closer and closer to seeing through it all. She had finished her training yesterday and tomorrow she would be flying out to Iraq. She needed to see her husband, they had video chatted and called whenever she could but it wasn't enough, she needed to see him in person before she left.

She walked into Coopers office and spoke. "Derek is getting suspicious, he knows that something is going on because I won't let him visit me. You have to let me go and see him, and before you say no you have to understand that you told me that this is a very dangerous mission and we don't know how long we'll be gone for and there is a small chance that We won't make it back, it's a small chance but it's still a chance so you have to let me say goodbye to my husband."

"Garcia, I was going to let you go see him anyway. It's been a month I'm sure you miss him a lot." Cooper chuckles a bit at her unnecessary speech.

"Oh, good, I do miss him like crazy. I wish he could know what's really going on." She admitted.

"I know this is hard but you're doing the right thing if the terrorist group finds out who you are and that you're married to him they'll go after him to get to you." Cooper reminded her.

"I know, I know but we're finally going to see each other and then I'm going to have to run off again without an explanation."

"Trust me once this is over, everything will be ok, you'll get to go home and you can tell him everything and he'll understand." He said.

Penelope let out a sight and then she left and went back the the fbi building to saw goodbye to her family.

——

She stepped off the elevator and went straight to Dereks desk.

"Miss me handsome?" She said behind him.

He immediately recognized the voice and spun around and wrapping him arms around her tightly as she laughed at his reaction. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Oh my god, I've missed you so much." He said as he let her go. "You look different, you lost weight, are you ok?" He asked. She had slimed down a bit from the physical training and she got more toned.

"I'm fine, I promise but sugar there is something that I need to tell you."

"Is this about Eddie?" He asked.

"Oh,no Eddies fine, he's doing much better." She said. "But the thing is I have to go away for a little while."

"What do mean, baby girl? You just got back."

"I know but there is something that I need to do, I can't tell you much right now and I'm so so sorry for that but I promise as soon as I can I'll tell you everything."

"I'm your husband, what can't you tell me?" Derek asked getting frustrated and raising his voice slightly.

"Do you trust me?" She asked calmly.

"Of course I trust you."

"I want nothing more then to tell you but I can't, not right now."

"Can you at least tell me how long you'll be gone for?" Derek asked desperate for an answer of any kind.

"I don't know how long it'll be, but it might be a while." She said honestly.

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow, first thing."

"I just don't understand." Derek said.

"I know, but I promise it'll all make sense once I get back you just have to trust me." She hugged him and said. "I love you so much Derek Morgan, you make me feel super brave."

"And you Penelope Garcia make me feel super safe, I love you more then anything." He said as he held her. "If you can't tell me what's going on can you at least promise me that you'll stay safe and take care of yourself for me."

"I promise if you promise to stay far away from any exploding ambulances while I'm gone."

Derek chuckled "I think I can manage that."


	3. Questions but no answers

Early the next morning Penelope was gone and on a flight to Iraq with the cia to try and bring down this group. She had to try and blend in with the people there so she wore natural looking makeup, a black headscarf, a black long sleeve top and a long black skirt. She was also wearing a thigh holster under her skirt which held her handgun. She hated the fact that she had to carry a gun but she was told that it wasn't something that was up for debate.

When the plane landed the team went to the apartment that they had ready for them to stay so that they could get to work right away.

When they got there Penelope immediately set up her computers so she could try to track down Al-Mumin, that was name of the group it means the believers in Arabic. While the rest split up and went searching to see if they could get anymore information.

——

"We need to find out where their going to meet up next." An agent said. So far they had found addresses for some of the members but it wasn't enough, if they arrested them one at a time then surely someone would catch on and tell the leader and then they would be screwed.

"How are we supposed to do that?" Penelope asked. "the only people that know where their going be and when are the members and they obviously aren't going to tell us anything."

"They might if they trust us." Cooper said. "If you can convince them that you want to join the group they might let you in and then we could take them down from the inside."

"Yeah or they just kill me on the spot." Penelope said.

"They won't, you're a woman they likely will see you as weak and not a threat they would have no reason to kill you."

"Ok I am so not ready for this, I've only been an agent for like what a day now? And you want me to go undercover in a terrorist organization?" She said shocked.

"I wouldn't be asking you if I wasn't confident in your abilities." He assured her. "But I won't force you to do it, the choice is yours."

"I can't believe I'm doing this." She said quietly to herself. "Just tell me what I have to do."

——

Back at quantico Derek was really finding it hard to not be angry at Penelope for just taking off and not telling him where she was going or even when she would return. Whatever was going on why could she not tell him? They tell each other everything.

He decided that he would call her brothers to see if they knew what was going on. He really did want to trust her but this whole thing was just so weird and it didn't make sense.

"Hey." Carl answered the the phone.

"Hey man it Derek, I was just wondering if you know what's up with Penelope."

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"She said that she had to go somewhere and she couldn't tell me where or how long she'd be gone for, she was acting weird. I thought that maybe she was stressed about Eddie or something but that doesn't explain why she's being so secretive." Derek explained.

"What about Eddie?" Carl asked.

"She told me that he got hit by a car and was in the hospital, she's been gone for the past month she was supposed to be visiting you."

"Sorry man I have no idea what you're talking about, Eddies fine no one got hit by a car and I haven't seen Penny since the wedding, I haven't even talked to her in like two months."

"So she lied to me about all of that? What the hell is she doing?" Derek said more to himself. "Thanks anyway Carl."

"Yeah no problem, keep me updated alright?"

"Sure thing." Derek said then he hung up the phone and was left with more questions then answers. His mind was racing with the different possibilities his thoughts went back and forth from concern to anger. He thought that maybe she had gotten herself into some trouble or something and then he started thinking that maybe she did want to be married anymore or that she was even cheating on him.

He tried calling her multiple times but it always went straight to voicemail. He had no means of contact with the woman who held his heart and that was not an easy thing to deal with.


	4. Tensions rising

Penelope walked up the steps to a house she was by herself and she was about to speak with one of the members of the group he wasn't the leader but he was a higher up member she had to gain his trust so that he would let her in.

She had never been so nervous before this whole thing was so insane. Although the other agents weren't with her they were keeping a very close eye on her, she had a pin on her shirt that was actually a camera so they would be able to see and hear everything that was going on, they were in a car close by watching the footage live, ready to intervene if needed.

She knocked on the door and waited anxiously for a response. The door opened and a well build tall man appeared. He said something in Arabic which Penelope obviously didn't understand, she was told that most of the men in the group knew at least some English so she tried. "My name is Alexandria Gomez, I'm from America I want to join Al-Mumin." She said, she spoke clearly and confidently so that he would see that she was serious. She come up with her alias earlier, Alexandria was the name of her best childhood friend and Gomez was the name D accidentally called her before he actually knew her.

"You want to join?" He asked slightly surprised. He had a thick accent and a deep voice. Penelope was obviously intimidated by him but she tried to suppress it.

"Yes."

"Why should I trust you? What could you possibly bring to our group?" He asked.

"I could fly under the raider, no one would suspect me. I'm also very good with technology I'm a hacker and I'm also a pretty good shot." She said.

"I see, I supposed that you could be useful but you will have to prove yourself."

"Of course. what will you have me do?"

"You say you're good with computers. Get me into the cia database, I want to know everyone that they have on us." He said as he handed her a laptop.

"Absolutely." She said confidently as she accepted her task. She knew that it wouldn't be easy but it would be doable.

She got to work right away and with in a half hour she was in. "It's done here are all the files concerning you and the group."

He took the computer from her and quickly scanned the information. "Very good. Welcome to the group, Alexandria."

"Thank you sir." She was surprised at how easy that was, although she knew that this was just the beginning and she had a feeling that many more tests would be thrown her way very soon. She then left the mans house and started walking, a few minutes later the car that was had the other agents in it picked her up and once she was in the car she let her emotions out.

"Oh my god! That was so crazy, Like actually insane. I was this close to a fricken terrorist he could have killed me so quickly if he wanted to, how am I not dead? How did that actually work? He actually believed me...wait I just gave him access to the database that's like uber bad right I shouldn't have done that right?"

"Calm down Garcia you did a very good job, you did everything that you were supposed to. Don't worry about the database it doesn't matter because we'll bring them down before they can use it against us don't worry."

Penelope sighed. "Can I please call my husband? He keeps calling me I can't just ignore him forever."

"Yeah go ahead just keep it brief."

She was so desperate to hear his voice as she quickly punched in his number. "Hey love bug." She said as she picked up the phone.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on yet?" Derek snapped clearly not in the mood for flirting.

Penelope sighed sadly, she knew that he needed to know something. She looked at Brody with pleading eyes. He saw the desperation written on her face and reluctantly whispered "say that you're working on a case and can't talk about it. Say nothing more." Brody knew that Morgan wouldn't just let this go so they had to give his something to hold on to.

"Look hon I'm working on a case but it's strictly need to know, so I can't tell you anything else right now I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean that's all you can tell me?!" He snapped. "What kind of case? Where the Fuck are you? Who are you with? You've been ignoring me for days and that's all you can tell me!"

"You said that you would trust me!"

"Yeah well I thought that I could but you're not exactly making it easy, you completely lied to me about Eddie thats so messed up."

"Derek please you know that if I could tell you that I would but it's not up to me."

"Why did you even call me if you can't tell me anything?" Derek asked.

"I missed you, I wanted to hear your voice." She said softly.

He didn't want to be mad at her but he couldn't help it he missed her and he was frustrated that she wasn't telling him anything. "How do you think I feel?" He said coldly before hanging up the phone without another word.


	5. Up in flames

It had been two months since Penelope had last spoken to Derek she had tried to call him whenever she could but he would never answer. She knew that he was pissed and he had every right to but that didn't make it any easier to deal with, all she wanted to do was go home and hold him. These past two months had been the hardest of her life and she felt completely alone in it all.

The group was planning an attack on America and the cia were getting so close to bringing it all down. Penelope and her team had already been able to arrest three of the members without incident and were now working on the leader who Penelope still had yet to meet in person.

Penelope was in the apartment on her laptop going over the hidden cameras that she had hidden arms the groups meeting place so she could get more information. Everyone else had gone out to get supplies like food and stuff.

She saw two men talking over the computer and turned up the volume to hear them better. They were speaking Arabic so she had to open up her translator on her computer. Her blood ran cold as she realized what they were talking about, her.

She quickly picked up her phone and called Brody, she didn't Wait for him to say anything before she started rambling. "They know about me, they know what's going on, there're going to kill me, I'm really scared I don't know what to do!"

"Whoa, calm down take a breath. What is going on?"

"I heard them over the computer, they found out somehow about what I'm doing, they're going to kill me."

"Get your gun out, lock the doors and windows, stay down and stay hidden. We'll be there in ten minutes."

"Ok." She replied shakily as she crouched down behind a wall so she was away from any windows but she still had a view of the front door. She held her gun tightly in front of her as she tried to shop shacking.

Brody was almost at the apartment when he saw a black van with tinted windows pulling up in the parking lot he watched as two men got out one was holding a metal briefcase. "Fuck." He cursed to himself. "Ok Garcia new plan, get the hell out of there now!"

Penelope crawled over to the window and saw the men approaching. "I can't they'll see me!"

"Well you can't stay there their going to blow it up."

Brody lost sight of the men as they went inside the building.

Penelope ran towards the door to try and get out but in an instant was violently thrown backwards from a explosion, her body slammed against the wall behind her and she fell to the ground unconscious as the building around her went up in flames.

Brody could do nothing but watch in horror as the flames consumed the place, knowing that there was no way that she could still be alive after a explosion like that. He had failed her, it was him who convinced her to take this job and now the woman who only wanted to help people had lost her life because of him.

——

Brody got on the jet as soon as he possibly could and headed to the headquarters. it was now the day after the explosion and it was confirmed that there were no survivors, he had tried to look for her body but there was nothing to find, which meant that not only did he have to go tell her family that she was dead and that it was his fault but he couldn't even give them a body to bury.

He spotted Hotch coming out of his office with a file in his hands. "Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes, who are you?" Hotch asked.

"My name is agent Brody Cooper, I'm the head of the terrorist unit at the cia, I need to speak with you and your team."

"About What?"

"About agent Penelope Garcia."

"Do you know where she is?" Hotch asked

Brody took a deep breath before answering. "I do and I need to speak with all of you."

"Sure, I'll get everyone together." Hotch said, he could tell that the agent was nervous about something.

everyone was soon gathered, sitting around the conference table everyone except for Derek who refused to sit once he learned that this was about his wife. "Where the hell is she?" He asked coldly, he wasn't mad at her anymore he was just desperate to see the woman that he loved again.

"You're agent Morgan I presume?" Brody asked, he braced himself for what was about to happen, he was about to look Penelope's husband and family in the eyes and tell them that they would never see her again, he was about to flip their worlds upside down.

"I am." Derek replied. "So where is she exactly?"

"I recruited her a few months ago to help us on a terrorist case, we needed her to help us bring down a group in Iraq. For two months she was at our headquarters training to go out in the field with us. After her training was complete we traveled to Iraq and we got to work bringing them down, she went undercover to get information about the group. Thanks to her we were able to make three arrests and we were very close to shutting it all down but... unfortunately someone tipped off the group about who she was, her cover was blown. She was in the apartment building and she called me, I tried to get back to her I really did but I was too late, they were already going inside with the bomb, I couldn't protect her. The building exploded and there was no survivors, Penelope has been presumed dead."

Derek lost it after hearing those words. "This is a Fucking sick joke isn't it?"

"I wish it was but it's not, I'm so sorry. She had such a big heart, all she cared about was helping people. She died a hero." Brody said trying to give her grieving husband some form of comfort.

"This is all your Fucking fault! She had no business being out in the field! You took advantage of her wanting to help people and you got her killed you motherfucker!" He lunged at the man in front of him and slammed him against the wall, he went to punch him but Hotch and Rossi pulled him away before he could. "I will kill you I swear to god I will kill you!" Derek yelled as tears ran down his face and he collapsed to his knees.

"Where is she? I need to see her." Derek asked softening his voice.

"There was no body to bring home, I am so so sorry."

JJ and Reid were hugging each other and crying Emily was trying to be strong even though she wanted to scream, Rossi and Hotch were beside Derek trying to calm him.

Brody was left to watch the consequences of his actions play out as he watched their pain, he couldn't help but blame himself, he had no right to bring her out on the field with him.


	6. An empty coffin and heavy hearts

Today was the day of the funeral and everyone was gathered around at the cemetery standing around the closed empty coffin. They had taken turns speaking and sharing happy memories that they had of her. No one could believe that she was actually gone with no body as proof it was hard for it to really sink in that she was truly gone.

Her brothers were all there as well as some of the people from her support group. Dereks immediate family was also there to support his, his mother was heartbroken for her son, she always loved Penelope even before she and Derek started dating she could just tell but how they looked at each other that they were meant to be together.

Her brothers spoke about their beloved little sister and their happy childhood and how much they regretted not keeping in touch with her more after their parents died.

Her support group members spoke about how much she had helped them throughout the years and how thankful they were.

The men that had worked with her at the CIA were there as well but they stood more in the back and stayed quiet, they didn't want to upset anyone further and they felt like they didn't have the right, they had only known her for a few months so they just stood back and listened respectfully to everyone's emotional stories, memories and speeches.

Once everyone had a chance to speak Derek placed a hand on the top of the coffin and spoke quietly. "I'm so sorry that I didn't trust you. It wasn't your fault you were just trying to do good, you're so brave and strong. I love you you so much my beautiful angel and I always will, you'll always be my baby girl." He said with tears in his eyes. Never in his life had he felt so completely heart broken he felt like his entire life had crumbled around him he felt like his life was over.

——

Penelope moaned as she slowly woke up she had a pounding headache and her entered body was screaming in pain. She was lying on the ground in the middle of a small dark room that looked more like a cell. It was freezing, the walls and floor were all concrete and there was no windows except for the tiny one on the door but it was covered so she couldn't see out of it. She had been here since the explosion and she had woken up before but she had never been conscious long enough for her to really understand Where she was. She tried to stand up but she could barely move her legs. She used her arms to push herself up and she moved she that she was learning against the wall. She moved her skirt and saw that her legs were covered in severe looking burns from the explosion.

She gasped at the sight of her injuries but soon her attention was drawn to the door as it opened and a man stood before her. He was the leader, she had seen him in pictures on the fbi's most wanted page but she had never seen him in person and now that he was standing over top of her made her feel incredibly intimidated, she felt like she was staring into the eyes of the devil.

"You have to let me go, people are looking for me. you won't get away with this." Penelope said trying to sound strong.

"Oh I don't think so Penelope, haven't you heard? You're dead." He said as he threw her a page from a newspaper that he had printed out, it was of her own obituary.

She was then left to stare at the news paper as she realized what this meant, no body was looking for her they all think that she's dead, she wasn't going to be getting out of here.


	7. Life goes on

Five years have passed since the funeral and a lot has changed in that time, Derek had quit his job and was now living in Chicago. He still owned the house that he lived in with Penelope but he couldn't handle staying there by himself, not without her. His friends had tried to set him up on dates to try and help him move on and at first he resisted like crazy, he didn't want anyone else he just wanted his baby girl, but last year he met a girl named Savannah Hayes and they started dating, he really cared for her he was finally starting to move on and be happy again, be was even planning on proposing to her, he had bought a ring. Although he had moved away he still visited the team on occasion and he always made sure to go to the graveyard and leave flowers for Penelope on their anniversary or her birthday, Savannah didn't mind, she knew that Derek loved Penelope but she had no doubts that he also loved her, so she wasn't insecure about it or anything.

JJ and Reid had finally admitted their feelings for each other and have been married for three years and have a two year old son named Henry. JJ got a job offer at the pentagon and was now working there.

Everyone else was still working at the Bau but it was so different they were just as close as they once were but it was apparent to everyone that their family wasn't complete. they had all moved on from the tragedy and were living very happy lives but that didn't mean that they didn't miss her like crazy.

Kevin Lynch was the new technical analysis, and Luke Alvez had taken over for Derek. Luke didn't know much about what had happened but he knew that they had lost someone and he knew better then to ask about it. But he couldn't help but be curious about the woman, He was looking at the picture of her on the wall with the other agents that had died but her picture was different then the others, she stood out. The other men and women looked professional, they were wearing mostly black dress clothes like suits and such. Penelope's plaque said that she was an Agent but she didn't look much like one, she was wearing a black and purple dress, and she had bright flower clips in her hair, and glasses that match her dress. She was pretty but not exactly professional.

Hotch walked by and stopped when he saw Luke. "What are you doing?"he asked out of curiosity.

"Oh, I just couldn't help but notice her picture." Luke replied gesturing to the picture.

Hotch smiled. "Yeah she sure does stand out doesn't she? She certainly was an individual"

"What happened to her?" Luke asked cautiously, not wanting to upset anyone.

"It's kind of a long story, the short version is that she was undercover and her cover got blown and the people that she was trying to take down killed her, They bombed her apartment building."

"Holy shit." He said under his breath, for some reason he just wasn't expecting that. "Did they ever get caught?"

"No, not yet." Hotch said.

Brody had been working around the clock these past years to finally take the group down but it hasn't happened yet, he was determined though he wanted to give some justice to Penelope and to the team it was all he could do to give them some form of closure. He was back in Iraq and he was close so close to taking this whole thing down once and for all.


	8. Back from the dead

**A/N so I realized that I completely messed up the character name on the last chapter. I meant that Derek was dating Savanna Hayes not Tamara Barnes, I just got them confused. I fixed it now but anyway enjoy the chapter it's finally getting happier. **

——

Brody had finally been able to track down where that groups meeting place was so he brought in a swat team and they were getting ready to do a raid of the building hoping to arrest as many of the members as possible.

Quickly they all went through the doors with their guns drawn and ready. They moved quietly around the building so they wouldn't draw attention. Slowly member after member were caught, some were shot and went willingly. They moved upstairs and found a man, Brody recognized him immediately as the leader Ada Abadi. He quickly reached for something in his pocket but SWAT didn't give him the chance to act, they killed him. Brody went over to his body and saw what he was reaching for, it was a detonator that probably would have made the building explode.

"Lets make sure that the rest of the building is clear." Brody said.

They went down into a basement and came across a locked metal door, one of the men shot the lock and opened the heavy door. When Brody stepped inside he saw a lady lying on the ground in the corner of the small room, she appeared to be unconscious. He kneeled down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder, she was freezing cold. "Ma'am, are you ok?" He asked trying to wake her up. He figured that since she was locked up that she probably wasn't a part of this but the swat team was sure to be ready just in case she tried something.

Her eyes opened slowly but she didn't respond.

"Ma'am, can you tell me your name?"

"Penelope Garcia." She answered, her voice was so quiet that it was almost inaudible but he heard her and he couldn't believe it. He hadn't recognized her at first now now he could see it but she looked so different. Her skin was ghostly pale and she was much smaller then she once was, her hair was long and messy her dress and skin were covered in dirt and dried blood although she didn't appear to have any serious wounds.

"Holy Fuck." He said to himself. He turned around to look at the other men who obviously didn't know what was going on. "Put your Fucking guns down and help me get her out of here!"

"Who is she?" One of them asked.

"She's an agent, she was working with me and she was presumed dead five years ago." Brody explained quickly. "Garcia, its Brody Copper. Do you remember me? Im going to get you out of here and back to your family i promise."

He picked her up and they drove her to a nearby hospital. It was dark outside because they decided that it would be better to do the raid at night for more of a surprise element. Penelope looked up at the moon as she was carried to the car this was the first time that she'd been outside or even seen the outside for five years and she couldn't believe that she was actually out of there.

——

Meanwhile in Chicago Derek and Savannah were having lunch with his mom and sisters. He was fiddling with the velvet box in his pocket. He hadn't planned on doing this today but it just seemed right, his family was here and he just wanted to do this. However as he was about to pull it out his phone rang. "Sorry, excuse me." He said before leaving the table to answer his phone.

He saw that it was Hotch who was calling him. " seriously Hotch, you could not have picked a worse time."

"Morgan, you need to get over here as soon as possible." Hotch said seriously.

"Why what's going on?" Derek asked.

"Derek, this is not something to discuss over the phone." Hotch said.

"Come on man just me what's going on. Did someone die?" Derek asked getting concerned.

"No no, no one is dead, it's quite the opposite actually." Hotch said.

"What does that mean?"

"She's alive Derek, Penelope is alive they found her."

"W-what, no that doesn't make sense she died she was dead."

"I promise you, she is alive and she is safe she's at a hospital with Cooper and they're going to bring her back here as soon as she's cleared to fly." Hotch explained.

"oh my god, ok I'll be there as soon as I can." Derek said before hanging up. He took a deep breath as he rejoined his family at the table.

"Is everything ok baby? you look a bit pale." His mom said concerned.

"Um Hotch just called me, he said that Penelope is alive. I have to go back to Virginia right now."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Savanna asked, unsure of what else to do. Everyone was completely shocked at what he had just told them including Derek

"Not yet, I just need to go by myself for now." Derek said and she understood. "I have to go get a plane ticket." He said as he grabbed his jacket and went to leave.

"Just wait a second, I'll drive you to the airport." Fran tried. She had no idea what was going on in her sons head right now and she didn't want him to be by himself.

"No, I just- I have to go." He said as he left leaving behind the four woman. He had so many things running through his head and he just had to get out of there. He had to see his baby girl.


	9. Coming home

Derek arrived at back in Virginia after the short plane ride he went straight to the Bau.

He stepped off the elevator and immediately saw Hotch waiting for him.

"When is she coming here? Is she ok? Is she hurt? Have you spoken to her?" Derek asked, he had to know everything.

"She isn't badly injured physically but she is severely dehydrated and vitamin deficient as well as sleep deprived so she is obviously very weak. She is being treated and if all goes well she should be here the day after tomorrow. I haven't spoken to her directly but Cooper has been calling me with updates when he has them. Shes being very well taken care of." Hotch reassured him.

"Have you called her brothers?" Derek asked.

"I did, they'll be here tomorrow. How are you holding up?" Hotch asked.

"I don't know, i guess it hasn't really set in yet. I used to dream about this day but i never thought that it would actually happen."

"I know. Come lets go see everyone." Hotch said as he lead Derek into the round table room where everyone was waiting. Hotch had called everyone in after he had called Derek, he thought that they should all be together right now.

——

"You should get some rest." Brody said to Penelope as they sat in the hospital. "We've got a long flight tomorrow." They would be flying back later in the day tomorrow but they wouldn't actually be back in Virginia for another day because of the long flight.

Penelope just nodded her head and lied, she hadn't spoken much since he had found her and when she did speak she was so quiet, it was like she was scared to talk.

Brody then left to speak with the doctor to make sure that she would be ok for the trip tomorrow. He felt a lot of responsibility to watch after her since it was his call that got her 'killed' in the first place.

——

Another day had passed and the two of them were now driving to Rossis house for the reunion. Penelope was really nervous, it had been so long since she had seen everyone and a lot had happened in the past five years.

The rest of the team were excitedly waiting to see her again. Everyone was there including Kevin, Henry, and jack. Even Luke had decided to come to meet her, he wasn't sure that it was such a great idea since he had never met her and this was obviously a very emotional time for everyone but JJ insisted that he was a part of their crazy family now and should come so he agreed.

Everyone was standing around waiting for the car to pull up. Derek stood anxiously looking out the window, he saw a car pulling up and immediately went outside, not being able to wait anymore.

She stepped out of the car and they locked eyes. Derek slowly made his way down the porch steps and walked towards her taking in her appearance, he couldn't believe that she was actually standing in front of him right now.

No words were needed in this moment, he simply wrapped his arms around her tightly and she did the same. They just held on to each other for a few moments neither one of them wanting to let go.

"I love you so so much. I cant believe your here." Derek said as he held her.

"I love you too." Penelope replied.

"Lets get you inside, baby girl." He told her as he held her hand gently and brought her inside to see everyone.

Brody had left to go be with his own family after a minute. He had brought her back safe so he felt like there was no need for him to stick around any longer.

Penelope was soon swarmed with people, most she knew but some she didn't. Everyone was hugging and talking and crying it was very overwhelming but she tried to stay calm. "Who's this little guy?" Penelope asked referring to the child in JJs arms.

"This is Henry. He is mine and Spencers son." JJ replied happily.

Penelope was confused. "What about Will?" She asked.

"We got divorced, not long after you...went missing. Me and Spencer really leaned on each other and now we're married and have this little cutie."

"Oh well thats great I'm so happy for you guys." She said forcing a smile. Its not that she wasn't happy for them but she was just really overwhelmed with everything right now.

She then saw Luke from across the room. She wondered who he was. "Who are you?" She asked as she approached him.

"Im Luke Alvez. Ive been working with your team for the past few years since Derek left." Luke said. If he hadn't already known who she was he wouldn't have recognized her as the women that he saw in the picture she looked os different and you could practically see the years of pain written on her face, it was very similar to what he would see in the military after soldiers would come home to their families and the things that those soldiers would see would be forever a part of them. You don't just come back from things like this without being changed in some way.

Penelope then turned to Derek who was still holding her hand. "You quit your job?" She asked.

"Yeah it was just too much stress, i couldn't stay focused on any cases because all i could think of was you." He told her truthfully.

Penelope just nodded, her mind was spinning, everything seemed to have changed so much since she had left and she knew thar there was probably much more that they just hadn't told her yet. The weakness and exhaustion and anxiety that she had been trying to fight off all day had caught up to her and she just knew that she had to get out of there.

She went over and grabbed a coat from the coat rack which happend to be Dereks and went outside. Derek tried to go after her but hotch stopped him. "Just let her get some air for a minute."

Penelope sat on the porch steps and tried to calm down she was shaking, she wasn't used to being around so many people that weren't trying to hurt her in some way, she was trying so hard to be happy for everyone else but she just couldn't handle it everything was just happening so fast and she couldn't catch up.

She put her hands in the coat pocket and was surprised to find a small box, she pulled it out and opened it revealing the beautiful diamond engagement ring. She felt her heart shatter, she knew what this meant, Derek had moved on. She wanted him to be happy of course that was all she wanted but it still hurt like hell.

She gently closed the box and put it back in the pocket. Tears started to run down her face as she leaned her head against the railing and closed her eyes.

After a few minutes Derek decided to go outside and check on her. He found her asleep on the steps. He was so excited to finally have her back that he didn't even realize how broken she looked until now. Her hair was brittle and damaged, her eyes were red and puffy and had dark circles under them, her skin was scarily pale and she had faint scars on her hands probably from self defence and he know that there was probably much more that were being hidden by her clothes

He carefully picked her up noticed how light she was., His poor girl was so damaged, she had been being tortured for the past five years while he was dating some other women, and it made him sick to his stomach.

He carried her inside and ignored the concerned looks from everyone. He brought her upstairs into a room and laid her down gently. He kissed her head and then went back down stairs to call Savannah.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hello?" Savannah said as she answered her phone.

"Hey Savannah, its Derek we need to talk." Derek told her, he didn't want to tip toe around the subject he just wanted to be honest with her out of respect because he did still care about her, he just didn't love her. "Im so sorry i really do care about you but i love Penelope and i need to be with her."

"You're breaking up with me?" She asked sounding annoyed.

"Yeah i am. I hope that you can understand."

Savannah didn't answer she just hung up the phone in anger. How could he just dump her like that?

Derek sighed and then rejoined everyone in the living room.

"Whats going on?" Carlos asked concerned about his sister.

"Penelope's ok, i just think that this was a bad idea to throw everything on her so quickly, she probably just needs some rest for now." Derek explained.

"You're right, i cant imagine how overwhelmed she must be." Carlos agreed. "We should get going actually, we'll go back to our apartment and maybe we'll check in on her tomorrow." Then the brothers said goodbye to everyone and left the house.

Not long after the brothers left everyone else had also left except for obviously Rossi and Derek.

"Im going to take her home after she wakes up." Derek said to Rossi.

"How are you holding up with all of this? You were just starting to move on and now." Rossi asked.

"I never thought that i would ever see her face again, i never thought that i would get to hear her voice again. I know that this isn't going to be easy but i will do whatever i have to do to take care of her. Im just so glad that shes alive." Derek said.

"I have no doubts that you two will be just fine as long as you have each other." Rossi said honestly.

"Thanks man." Derek smiled.

——

Penelope woke up and was unsure of her surroundings, panic set in as she opened her eyes and was met with darkness. She screamed and looked around but she couldn't see much. Her breath quickened, she didn't like the dark it wasn't safe she couldn't she was vulnerable.

She heard the sound of quick foot steps approaching the door, she didn't have time to react before the door flew open.

She quickly stood up ready to fight if necessary but then the light flicked on and she saw Derek standing before her, she looked around and realized where she was and that she was safe.

She ran brr hands through her hair anxiously before sitting back on the edge of the bed.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked her.

"it was just so dark, i don't like the dark it isn't safe, i didn't know where i was but I'm ok now." Penelope said softly, a bit embarrassed because of her reaction.

"Come on, baby girl. What you say we go home?" Derek said.

"What home?" Penelope asked while looking at the floor. If Derek had moved to Chicago then he was probably living with whoever he's planning on purposing to and Penelope worried that she might not have anywhere to go.

"_Our_ home. I kept the house silly girl, i couldn't just sell it it had too many wonderful memories. Most of the stuff is still there, and i brought some of my things back so i can start moving back in and me and you can start building our life up again" Derek said.

"But...Derek you have a girlfriend. I found the ring in your jacket. You cant just leave her because of me, i wont let you, i don't what to be the thing that stops you from being happy, i want you to live the best possible life that you can. "

"Baby you've got it all wrong, i did have a girlfriend but thats done now. As soon as i got that call from Hotch saying that you were alive you have been the only thing on my mind. You are the woman that i love. You are not the thing that stops me from being happy you are what creates my happiness. You are the only woman that i truly love. Now lets get you home and then i will tell you anything that you want to know."

Penelope nodded and excepted Dereks hand which was held out for her to take. They then left Rossis house and made their way back to their home. It had been quite a while since they had been here together but nevertheless they were back now hand in hand walking into their home just like they bad done many years ago.


	11. Catching up

The couple stepped into their house and Penelope looked around and was surprised that it was mostly the same as she remembered it being, obviously some things had been moved or were gone to Dereks home in Chicago.

"Whats her name?" Penelope asked suddenly.

Derek knew immediately who she was referring to. "Savannah."

They made there way into the living room to talk a d they sat next to each other on the couch.

"How long have you guys been seeing each other?"

"A little over a year. One of my friends set us up."

"And are you absolutely sure that this is what you want because its been a long time and I'm giving you an out, you do not have to stay with me if, you can choose her."

"Baby i have prayed so hard that i would just be able to see you again or hear your voice, you are here in front of me and you're alive, there is no way that I'm letting you go again, so stop trying to make it happen."

"I did want to tell you... about where is was, it was just too dangerous and i didn't want you to have to get tangled up in that mess, Cooper made it very clear what the risks were and we couldn't have have anyone getting hurt." Penelope told him. The last time that they had spoken wasn't exactly a nice conversation and she wanted to be able to explain herself, even though Derek knew now what she had been doing and that she had been undercover Penelope wanted him to hear it from her.

"I know, Cooper explained it to me. I just don't understand why it had to be you, i cant help but hate him for sending you out there."

"You have every right to be angry over what happened but it was no ones fault, there was no way that we could have predicted that attack. He really did try to keep me safe and i knew from the start what i was getting myself into, i knew the risks and i could have said no. It was no ones fault except for the bombers." Penelope said. "Ok its your turn, I've asked you my questions now you can ask me the questions that i know have."

Penelope was right Derek had a lot of questions, be wanted to know exactly what happened to her for all these years. " what happened in iraq?" He asked cautiously, he didn't know how she would react and hr half expected her to just walk away to avoid the question.

Penelope however did answer the question, she knew that he would have to tell him eventually so she decided to just get it out of the way. he knew about her undercover work already from Cooper so she decided to skip to the explosion. "When they bombed the apartment i was just far enough away from the blast that it wasn't fatal. i don't remember much, i just remember hiding behind a wall, i had my gun out as if that was going to protect me somehow. I tried to make it to the door but then there was this insanely loud bang and then i guess i blacked out. When i woke up i was in a cell. I could barely move i was in so much pain and my legs were covered in severe burns from the fire. The leader of the group came in and showed me me obituary to prove that i had been presumed dead. I just lost all hope, nobody was ever going to find me because nobody was even looking for me, I was dead. At first they didn't do anything because they needed me to heal so they didn't accidentally kill me, but once most of my burns were healed they tried to convince me to help them, they wanted me to join their group but i refused so they tortured me with beatings and starvation and sleep deprivation, electrocution, water torture, ect to try and make me obey. After a while they realized that i wasn't going to break as easily as they thought and i thought that they were going to kill me but they didn't they just kept with the torture, i think that they just wanted to see how much i could take before i either went insane or i died. When Brody found me i really thought that i was just hallucinating, sometimes that would happen and honestly I'm still not fully convinced that this is actually real life and not just some dream I've made up to cope."

"This my dear is very real. I felt the same way when i got the call from Hotch i was so scared that id wake up and it would have all been a dream but its not you're really here with me and you're not going anywhere and neither am i."

"Its getting late you should get some rest."

"But i don't wanna." Penelope whined. She was pretty awake since she slept at Rossis. "Can we get ice cream?" She asked.

Derek laughed, he wasn't the random question but he still went with it. "Chocolate?" He asked.

"You know it hotstuff."

It had been so long since Derek had heard that nickname that it caught him off guard for a second.

"Whats wrong?" Penelope asked when Derek seemed a little zoned out.

"Nothing silly girl." Derek said smiling. "Lets go get some ice cream."


	12. confrontation

Penelope was lying next to Derek in their bed, he was asleep but she was wide awake she had far too much on her mind to be able to sleep right now.

A loud knock was heard coming from the front door so Penelope got up and quickly got dressed careful to not wake her sleeping husband in the process.

She looked at the person through the peep hole before opening the door and saw a unfamiliar woman standing there. Obviously not seeing the women as any threat to her she opened the door.

"Hello?" Penelope said.

"Oh its you." The lady snapped out angrily.

"Im sorry do i know you?" Penelope questioned.

"No but i know all about you Penelope and how you decided to just swoop back in here after five fucking years and take my boyfriend from me!"

Now things were starting to make sense. "You must be savannah."

"Yeah i am and you must be the slut that stole my boyfriend from me!"

"Ok listen, i am sorry that Derek broke up with you but that doesn't mean that you can just show up like this and start yelling at me. I understand that you're upset but i need you to calm the hell down and maybe we can talk this through girl to girl."

"Don't act like you care about what my feelings are! You ruined my life!" Savannah yelled before hitting Penelope hard in the face.

Penelope was quick to react grabbing her arms so that she couldn't her again. She didn't want to fight savannah, and even of she did she certainly didn't have the energy for it. "Go home Savannah." Penelope said keeping her voice calm but firm.

As Savannah walked away Derek appeared behind Penelope. The yelling had woken him from his sleep. "Whats going on?"

"Well i met your girlfriend, she seems... nice." Penelope joked.

"What did she want?"

"She wanted to yell at me for stealing her man." Penelope said as she turned to face him.

"Hey what happened?" Derek asked referring to the red mark that was appearing on her cheek. "Did she hit you!"

"Its not a big deal she was just pissed off."

"No, Pen that is not ok. Are you alright?"

"Relax I'm fine, i can take a hit its not a big deal."

"Ok." Derek said hesitantly knowing full well that physically she was mostly fine but he was more concerned with her emotional wellbeing.

"I just need some air." Penelope said quickly as she slipped on her shoes and went outside, she started walking although she didn't know exactly where she was going she just had to get out of there she was feeling claustrophobic all of a sudden. Derek didn't follow her he wanted to but he knew that she needed some space right now and he was going to give it to her as long as she knew that he was here for her he didn't need to hover over her.

——

Penelope had been walking for a while and she had completely zoned out but now that she had calmed down she realized that she didn't know how to get home because she wasn't sure how she even got here.

She reached in her cardigan pocket to call Derek but then she realized that she had left it at home.

"Ok do not freak out, look around figure out where you are." Penelope said to herself so she wouldn't panic.

She was on the curb of a empty road, there wasn't any houses that she could see. She picked a direction and just started walking hoping that she had picked the right way, it was all that she could right now.

After a couple short minutes she could see a car in the distance. "Oh thank god." She thought. "Maybe they can give me directions." She waved down the car and it pulled up beside her.

"Do you need some help Ms?" The man in the car asked.

"Actually yes, i got super lost and i was wondering of you give me some direction."

The man got out of his car and met her outside, she then saw him holding a gun and aiming it at her. She acted quickly grabbing the mans arm and knocking the weapon out of his hands, she then managed to get his arms behind his back and pushed up against his car.

"What the fuck lady!" The man yell. "I was just trying to help you!"

That was enough to snap Penelope out of her trance and then she realized that there was no gun, he was trying to give her his phone so that she could call someone. Penelope was so confused, he had a gun she had seen it he was going to shoot her, but yet she was wrong. She immediately let him go as she continued to wrap her mind around what just happened. She felt like she was going insane.

"I-Im so sorry." She said.

She ran, not even caring anymore about it might not being the right way. What was wrong with her? She was terrified and nothing seemed to be making sense right now. She had just attacked some poor guy that was only trying to help her out. She had never been a violent person. She felt like she didn't even know who she was anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

Penelope was finally able to find a familiar part of town and walked hime from there, she was still extremely anxious though. She walked through the front door and called out Dereks name to let him know that she was back but she git no response. She walked into the kitchen and found a note on the fridge that said he went out to look for her. She turned to look at the clock on the stove and saw that she had been gone for over an hour and he must have been getting worried.

As she looked back to the note she felt her mind drifting back to when she was a teenager reading a similar note that her parents had left her when she didn't return home on time from a party, that was the day that her parents died in a car crash.

She immediately grabbed her phone from the table and called Derek. "Please answer. Please answer." She said to herself over and over until he finally answered.

She let out a breath of relief as she heard his voice over the phone. "Hey, I'm back. Sorry i didn't realize how long i was gone for."

"Its ok i was just worried. I'll be home in five minutes." Derek told her glad that she had made it home safely.

After they hung up the phone Penelope went into the bathroom, she wanted to do something with her hair, it was driving her crazy with how long and dead it was. It took out her ponytail and let it fall down to her waist, she grabbed a pair of scissors from the cabinet and started to cut it off.

She was about half way done when she heard the front door open and Derek called her name.

"Up here." She replied.

"What are you doing?" He asked even though it was obvious by the hair covering the bathroom floor.

"It was driving me insane, i could hardly even get a brush through it." She explained.

"Here let me help."

Penelope handed him the scissors and he finished it for her. Her hair was now shoulder length and it looked and felt so much nicer.

"Thanks, handsome."

"Anytime, baby girl."

——

About three weeks had passed since Penelope had returned home and physically she was feeling much better, she was no longer feeling weak or sick which was good. Her doctor had even cleared her to go back to work when she was feeling up to it, she hadn't told Derek that yet though knowing that he wouldn't want her doing anything that could stress her out.

She had never told him about what happened on the side of road after savannah showed up that one day, not wanting him to worry about her anymore then he already was.

Derek had gotten his job back at the BAU so Penelope spent most of the day at the house alone, or sometimes she would hang out at the office but it was so frustrating seeing her friends all working on cases when she wasn't allowed to help. she hated staying home because she was bored and she had nothing to distract her from the awful memories that plagued her mind, no amount of bright colours or cute cat videos could help her feel better. When she went to sleep her dreams were filled with horrific nightmares so she forced herself to sleep as little as possible while still being able to function so Derek wouldn't catch on.

"Hey, are you going to work now?" Penelope asked as she walked down the stairs to meet Derek in the kitchen.

"Yeah, did you wanna come?"

"Yeah i actually wanted to talk to Hotch about maybe getting my job back..." Penelope said.

"I don't think thats a good idea, baby girl."

"Oh come on, the doctor cleared me a couple days ago and i am going stir crazy being in this house all day."

Derek knew that he wasn't going to win this so he gave in knowing that Hotch wouldn't let her back if he wasn't confident in he ability to handle it.

——

Penelope and Hotch had their long talk and he decided to let her come back. They had gone down to the reception office to get her badge renewed. Penelope assumed that it was just to get a new picture since her old badge was probably expired by now but when the lady at the desk handed her the new badge she looked up at Hotch confused. "SSA?" She asked.

"Well you're technically an agent now and though you're still be our analyst, i thought that it would be nice to have an extra set of feet on the ground, if you're up for it that is."

"Um yeah thats fine i guess." Penelope agreed, she just really wasn't expecting it and she honestly wasn't sure if this was what she wanted. She never really liked being out on the field she was always much more comfortable being behind her computer screen. Even in Iraq she was only there because she wanted to help, she never actually enjoyed much of her work there. But she did want to help her team so she pushed her doubts aside and accepted Hotch's request.


	14. Breakdown

**Is anyboby else freaking out over the fact that the show is ending next week? Because i sure am. Anyway enjoy the chapter. :)**

**———**

Penelope walked into her old office to get her things set up but it was very different then how she remembered it being. She was expecting it but it was still strange. All of her cute trinkets and things were gone, Her computers had been replaced with newer models, and the room smelled like Kevin.

She sighed and walled around turning on her computers. She then started to move things around and adjust the screens to where she liked them.

As she was fiddling with one of the monitors Reid came up behind her. "Hey-"

Penelope flinched upon hearing the voice. "Oh my god, you scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry Garcia, i just wanted to let you know that we have a case."

"Right ok, thank you my genius, I'll be there in a second." Penelope said as she grabbed her laptop and a notebook before going out to join everyone.

——

"Wheels up in 30." Hotch announced as everyone spit up to get ready.

Penelope and Derek were going home quickly to get their go bags. The entire way home was quiet neither one of them speaking but when they got through the front doors Derek spoke. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Of course i am." Penelope lied.

"Come on, do you think i don't notice that you're not ok? You haven't been ok since you got back but you wont let me help you, you just keep pushing me away."

"Derek we have to get ready. Can we please not do this now?"

"No because i cant keep pretending that i don't hear you crying in your sleep, or how you flinch whenever theres a loud noise, or how you hide in long sleeves and pants all the time to hide the scars that i know are there!"

"What do you want me to go Derek? Do you want to cry and tell you all of the horrible things that happened? Do you want to show you the scars that i have from five years of torture? Do you want to tell you how i wanted to die so many times while i was there because it didn't matter cause i was already dead with nobody even looking for me!?"

"I just want you to stop pushing me away baby. I can help you."

"Can you? Can you take away the past years of trauma? The pain? Can you take away this?" Penelope had tears running diwn her face as she lifted up her shirt revealing the many scars on her abdomen from being burned.

"Penelope..." Dereks voice softened as he moved closer to her.

"Hotch is waiting we should go." She said as she fixed her top then grabbed her bag and left the house.

Derek just stood there watching her walk away. This wasn't supposed to start an argument but tensions were high right now and Derek was frustrated and Penelope was stressed to say the least.

He knew that she was pissed at him now but he got her to be a little bit vulnerable today which was a good start, it meant that her walls might be starting to come down even just a little bit.

Derek grabbed his bag and followed her out. As he joined her in the car he said. "I just want whats best for you. Its hurts so much seeing you like this."

"I know and i love you for trying to help but i just want to move on i don't want to think about it anymore then i have to. I just want my life back."

"And you will. I know that its hard right now but if anyone can get through this its you."

"Thanks for the pep talk sugar. Im sorry for shutting you out, its just been really hard." Penelope smiled genuinely. "Now lets go before Hotch sends a search party after us."

——

The team was now in New York for the case. A man was on a murder spree shooting women who reminded him of his ex wife.

Penelope had kept her promise to Derek and they were communicating much better now, however the stress of being back on a case was a lot for her to handle.

It had been two days since they arrived and they had already found the Unsub thanks to his carelessness, they didn't have him yet though, he had taken his ex wife hostage with a gun pressed to her head and the team was around him trying to get a shot lined up without putting the woman in danger.

JJ had tried negotiating with him but as time went on he was just getting more and more agitated. No one had a clear shot except Penelope. "Take the shot." Luke whispered to her but she did nothing. She couldn't see straight, the sleep deprivation was finally catching up with her. "Take the shot." Luke repeated a bit louder but still nothing.

"Garcia!" Luke yelled and finally she pulls the trigger and by some miracle the bullet hits the man in the head freeing the woman from his grasp.

Penelope drops her gun as the loud bang echos through her head and she is transported back to the explosion in Iraq, even though the gun shot was nothing compared to the sound of the bombs it was enough for her to completely forget where she was.

"Garcia?" Hotch asked as he put a hand on her shoulder seeing how spaced out she was.

Penelope whipped around to face him but she didn't see Hotch, instead she saw one of the men from the group. "Get away from me." She said backing up.

Derek who was helping the woman over to the medics so they could check her out just incase, saw the scene that was unfolding with Penelope so after the woman was safe with the medics he went over to see what was going on.

"Baby girl, talk to me whats wrong?"

"Leave me alone!" She screamed.

"Whoa, hey its just me, its Derek baby." He told her softly. He reached out to touch her arm to try and coax her out of her panicked state but it only made it worse, Penelope swung to hit him but he grabbed her hand before she could.

By this point the whole team was watching this unfold but no one really knew what to do. "I'll get the medics." Reid said before rushing off.

Penelope continued to struggle and scream as Derek held onto her tightly so she couldn't hurt herself or anyone for that matter since she clearly was having some sort of breakdown.

The medics came running over and injected her with a sedative to calm her down and soon she went limp in Dereks arms so he gently laid her down on the stretcher that had been wheeled over.

"I just wanna go home." Penelope whispered as her eyes slowly shut closed and she fell onto unconsciousness.


	15. Moving on

**I think im going to end this story here, i actually wasnt planning on it at all but i think that this is a good place end at. I might post an epilogue of something later but as of righ now this is the end. **

**I hope you all enjoyed it and i hope you are all safe and well. **

———-

Penelope woke up in a hospital room feeling really groggy and out of it. She saw Derek sitting next to the bed in a chair. "What happened?" She asked him.

"What do you remember?" He asked.

"Alvez was telling me to take the shot but i couldn't see clearly... Oh my God, did i kill that poor woman?!" Penelope panicked.

"No no, shes fine you shot the guy and we got her away safely, she wasn't injured." Derek reassured her.

"Why am i here?" She asked.

"After the gun went off you freaked out and you didn't know where you were so we had to get the medics to sedate you. The doctors gave you anti anxiety, and sleeping meds to keep you calm so you would stay sleeping for a while, you've been sleeping for almost 24 straight."

"Im not ok, Derek." Penelope admitted even though that was obvious she had to say it out loud.

"I know baby girl."

"Im going to go back to therapy, i really need help."

"Im gonna go too." Derek said which surprised her.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we've both been through a lot and i think that it would be really good for us."

"I think so too." Penelope agreed. This was good they needed this everything that has happened has been traumatic for both of them and it was time that started to heal.

——

"Hi guys. Im Dr Shaw but you can call me Sam." The young looking female therapist introduced herself. It was the next day and Penelope was released from the hospital the day before after a psych evaluation.

After Derek and Penelope took turns explaining what they had both been though Dr shaw realized that both of them seemed to be very closed off.

The doctor needed to dig deep into both of them to get them to admit what they were actually feeling. "Penelope." She started. "What kind of emotions have you been feeling since you got back?"

"I don't know, relief i guess to be back home."

"Anything else? You don't have to sugar coat anything here. This is a safe space and for this to be effective i need both of you to be very honest with each other."

"I guess it hasn't exactly been all sunshine and rainbows. Im... scared a lot and I'm angry at just about everyone. Im angry at agent Cooper for taking me out there, I'm angry at my team for not looking for me, I'm angry at Derek for dating somebody else but most of all I'm angry at myself for leaving in the first place and im angry at myself for even being angry because its no ones fault. They couldn't have possibly known that i was still out there but i was and it just feels like everyone just forgot about me and i know that it sounds selfish but thats just how i feel."

"No one ever forgot about you baby." Derek said. "I promise you that. I would always leave flowers for you on your birthday and on our anniversary. I even went to church every once in a while and i would pray not because i believe in God but because i knew that if anyone got into heaven it would be you. Reid started researching a lot about death and different afterlife beliefs. JJ told me when she was pregnant that if she had a girl she was going to name it after you. We might have moved on but nobody ever forgot about you."

——

The rest of that therapy session went ok it was hard for both of then to really be honest about their feelings and it would take sone time for them both to heal properly but for right now this was a good start, a step in the right direction.

They had a good system for right now Penelope would work half days so she would be able to get back into the habit of going to work but it would be less stressful and she would be working exclusively as the technical analyst just like she was meant to be. Derek would be doing a desk job for now so that he could come home to her every night.

Penelope would have her therapy appointments on Monday's and Derek would have his on Wednesdays and they would have couples on Sundays. It was a lot of therapy and a lot of work but they were committed to it just like they were committed to each other, its time for them to take care of themselves and heal.


End file.
